Friday, January 17, 2014

The Glamorous Side of Motherhood

"I think today is Santa Claus's birthday!"

That's what my 6-year-old said today. That's how hard the snow was coming down.

Our area has officially been hit with more snow than our winter average, and it's only mid-January. Of course, if you live in Ohio, you know what that means! We have another 4 1/2 months until winter is over. That's right, folks. It sometimes snows in May here in lovely Ohio.


I'm so sick of the winter. I'm ready for summer to hit so I can complain about the heat. I mean, complaining about the cold is no fun. At least in the summer you have something to show for all of your complaining, like sweaty armpits or your skin sticking to the leather seats in your car.

"Hey, check this out! I'm fused to the seat!"

The first snow was waaaay back in October (seems like forever ago, yet childbirth feels like just yesterday) and I feel like I've been stuck in the house ever since. It really is driving me crazy. I school my first-grade son from home through Ohio Virtual Academy, so it's not like I get a few hours away from his rambunctious self every once in awhile. No, sir-ee. Not this mama. I spend 24-7 with my 11-month-old mean sweet baby girl who pulls my hair gives me lovin' all day long, and my 6-year-old hyper calm son who can't sit still to poop sits quietly while I cook and clean.

You must think I'm crazy to take on that level of responsibility. Maybe I was a little crazy when I decided I was going to do it. But now? Ha! I'm a flat-out lunatic. I rock the Medusa hair-do all day long in yoga pants on days like today. Eighty-six feet of snow on the ground and a splitting migraine is an excellent reason to drag ass and do nothing once the kids are fed and school is taken care of.

Motherhood is oh so glamorous, let me tell ya! When I find a couple dollars hiding in the bottom of my cracker-crumb, toy truck filled purse, I feel like I hit the lottery. Wanna know why? Because I know that I can secretly buy a candy bar and hide in the closet to eat it without the kids knowing.

My god. I'm ready to get out of this house


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