Friday, October 17, 2014

Black Friday 2014: The Mombie Apocalypse

The 2014 Black Friday advertisements will be circulating soon, which means that moms all over the United States are gearing up for the one of the biggest consumer events of the year.

Stocking up on coffee, Red Bull, and hair curlers, these moms are ready to rush onto the streets and take whatever they can get, without anything standing in their way.

It's the Mombie Apocalypse.

On November 28, 2014, sleep-deprived, caffeine-fueled soccer moms will be fighting for the latest products at prices they're not even sure are a good deal! Despite this, they advertisements on TV are enough, and they'll do whatever it takes to get what they want, even if it means pulling the hair of the woman in front of her, or biting an ankle or two.

"Look at these little red squares on sale for only $99.99!"
If you'll be out on this frightening day, be sure to arm yourself with coupons to throw--just in case things go awry. As soon as moms begin tackling one another, toss them in the opposite direction that you're headed. It will divert their attention, if only for a moment.

"I'm armed with my credit card and I'm not afraid to use it!"

You can recognize mombies by their constant moaning, "Deeeeeals! Deeeeeeals!" and their blank stares. Mombies are focused on their destination (which is usually the electronics department).

The best advice I can offer you for November 28, 2014 is to stay inside. Eat too much turkey and sleep the day away, because there's no getting around it.

Mombies everywhere are preparing. How will you prepare for the Mombie Apocalypse?

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