Friday, February 15, 2019

What Makes A Great Mother?


Motherhood is a difficult time. It’s also a wonderful time, a memorable time, a time that can bring true purpose to your life. It’s a time where everything changes, and you start to look at yourself, your family and the world in different lights. It’s a time when you feel like everything is taken care of, but you must also take care of everything. It can be absolutely nourishing and absolutely draining at the same time. But most of all, it’s totally worth every different and disparate emotion you can feel.

But what makes a great mother? There’s no doubt you aspire to be one. But how should you define yourself as one? How do you know if you’ve ‘made it?’ How much effort and personal development do you have to employ to happily take this title? Well, every mother will have a slightly different take on what worked well for her. Some things you can only learn through experience. But we also hope that the following advice can be just as helpful to you, as you go through this journey:

Settling Your Worries

First of all, it’s important to not worry about what makes a great mother. Instead, just focus on being the best you can in any given situation. Worrying about huge and philosophical definitions like this can only lead to you second-guessing everything you do, and this isn’t healthy. Too often are mothers overly hard on themselves, never giving themselves enough credit and feeling rotten because of it. They might feel that everything they do is in some way incorrect, even if it’s perfect. Of course, you shouldn’t simply give yourself a free pass no matter what you do, but being a little kinder to yourself is important. If you’re there for your child and love them, you are likely a great mother without even realising it. Not all children will have someone like you to care for them.

Also, as an additional and quite clear point, if you’re reading an article that asks the question ‘what makes a great mother?’ to see how you stack up, you’re likely a great mother for even making that effort.

Being Present & Caring

Being a fantastic mother isn’t about saying all the right things, or having the most energy, or being attentive to every single issue, or being able to read the mind of your baby or child as they struggle to express what the current problem is. It’s simply the ability to be present and caring. It’s putting your child above anyone else. It’s heading online to see the best ways to treat your baby’s skin rash: Your Complete Guide. It’s heading to the GP’s to ensure that any of your initial worries are settled or followed up upon. While reading parental books are often not necessary, sometimes finding some of the most concentrated and relevant points can also help you, so we would consider that to be an effort in care also.

Perhaps the most important part of being present is that your baby will often grow up so quickly without you realizing. It can be hard to understand this until you see it happen. Children do grow up so quickly, but babies even more so. It’s impressive to see. But of course, that means you only have a precious fragment of time to see your baby in their most new, innocent and beautiful states. Simple being present to witness this can be absolutely life-affirming in so many ways. So be sure to pay it the correct attention necessary.


Self care is also very important. Without this, it’s quite easy to fall prey to feeling a little spun-out, a little overtired and a little less confident than you might have been. Simply ensuring your grooming each morning is fully complete, that you catch up on sleep when your baby is having a nap, or ensuring your diet is absolutely nourishing, even if you don’t quite feel like eating. Make sure you hydrate enough, and ensure that you give yourself the little indulgences such as restorative creams.

Self care can also suggest exercise, especially because it can help you work out some of the stress you might face in the everyday. And hey, if you have time for it, a little meditation can work wonders too. Simply sit back on a cushion or a chair, close your eyes and meditate by witnessing your breath passing to and from your nostrils over time. Do this for ten minutes initially, and then consider upgrading the time spent doing this week after week. You will struggle initially, and your monkey mind will be in full play, but simply returning your mind to your breath gently when you remember can help you build focus, concentration and comfort.

It’s quite amazing to see how this can settle frayed nerves and any mental blockages you might be going through. Of course, you don’t need to feel good on a daily basis in order to be a great mother, but it can truly help, and why should a mother have to feel anything other than happy in her situation? A little self-care can ensure this is your default state through a majority of your days in any given month.

A Little Research & Attention

A little research and attention regarding the issues you might be worried about can help you overcome some of the starting problems you might not be too aware of. For example, it might be that your baby seems to be vocalizing, but not at the rate that might be expected. Heading to your Doctor’s or reading online could help you figure out what the problem might be, and the solution. With developmental issues, the first advice is usually to be patient until you are certain it is an issue. This might help you relax a little, and low-and-behold, the baby starts saying ‘mama’ for a large period of each day.

But it’s important to be careful of what you read online. Sometimes it can convince you that your child is suffering from a range of issues that they might not be. No baby’s development is a linear process, so it’s important not to find resources that put you in a panicked state, and instead listen to the advice of the experts through and through.

One of the most important resources to pay attention to is your own mother’s intuition. This is a relatively spooky force in terms of how accurate it can be, and how it seems to know things before they happen. For example, you might feel that something isn’t right with your child before they start crying in their cot. Paying attention to this can often be the most enlightening and often-right guides you have.


Unfortunately, there are some mothers who do feel quite worried about going through this process. That’s hardly the opposite of understandable. But sometimes, this worry can manifest in decisions that aren’t as healthy as they could be. For example, single motherhood can be an extremely worrying time. Money might be tight, family ties might be a little frayed, and it might end up feeling like a mother only has herself to rely on. This can be a stifling feeling. But does that mean inviting an old, abusive love interest back into the fold is the right decision? Absolutely not.

It can be hard for some mothers to overcome this need for companionship and someone to talk to. Again, that’s hardly a crime in any way. But as a mother, the only duty of real care you have is to your child first, and yourself second. Don’t introduce them to a harmful atmosphere. Sometimes the solution to an issue like this is to socialize with other mothers. There are many excellent groups out there. Sometimes, unfortunately, going through the harder times is also just a reality of this process. You will be stronger for it, but be sure to express yourself to a healthcare professional if you are truly, truly struggling. They might be able to provide support and assistance, and is much better than simply bottling things up.

There can be pride in your independence if you’re able to develop it. Don’t feel as though you should be falling into the arms of another through anything other than love and encouragement, not necessity and worry.


Your patience will be tested harshly when you’re a mother. Your child might not fall asleep despite getting up six times in a night. Your husband or boyfriend might be trying you by not helping out, or perhaps your overbearing parents are questioning anything positive you do. Perhaps something more fundamental is the matter, such as struggling to get through postnatal depression with the use of an excellent therapist. If there’s anything you’ll learn in motherhood, it’s patience. But don’t let it warp your mindset. Let it define you for the better. Patience is a golden skill and a shield if applied correctly. It can help you become gentler and more firm at the same time. With that, you will absolutely become a great mother.

With these tips, you’re sure to become the mother you hope to be.


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