Monday, January 13, 2020

Workout Problems We Can All Relate To In The New Year

Now that a new year is here it is time to shed the pines and make better habits for ourselves. Christmas is over for another 12 months and now is the time for us to get healthy once again and back into a normal routine.

Today we want to take a look at getting into shape for the new year and how hard it can be. Whether you choose to go it alone, Get in shape with Mommy Makeover, or get yourself a diet and exercise plan to follow the most difficult thing can be motivation and willpower. We all know what it can be like to struggle to stay fit and workout, and that’s why today we wanted to share some jokes that will make you laugh and help you get through your next couple of workouts!

"The most annoying are those people in exceptionally good shape at the gym. I'm like 'What are you doing here? You're done.'" - Jim Gaffigan

"When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes away." - Robert M. Hutchins

"If you want to get in shape, don't sign up for fancy diet this or Cross that the other thing. No, the way to get in shape is to go to the gym every single day, change your clothes and take a shower. If you can do that every single day for a month, pretty soon you'll start doing something while you're there." - Seth Godin

"Gym Rule #1: If you want to know the correct way to perform an exercise, the answer is: Whatever hurts most." - Jason Love

"I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happier with buns of cinnamon." - Ellen DeGeneres

"My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already." - Milton Berle

"Albert Einstein discovered that a tiny amount of mass is equal to a huge amount of energy, which explains why, as Einstein himself so eloquently put it in a famous 1939 speech to the Physics Department at Princeton, 'You have to exercise for a week to work off the thigh fat from a single Snickers.'" - Dave Barry

"Instead of calling my bathroom the 'John' I call it the 'Jim'. That way it sounds better when I say, 'I go to the Jim first thing every morning.'" - Unknown

"I really think that tossing and turning at night should be considered exercise!" - Unknown

"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing." - Marsha Doble

"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all." - Joey Adams

"The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it 'jumping up and down.'" - Rita Rudner

"America has got to be the only country in the world where people need energy drinks to sit in front of a computer." - Mike Vanatta

"My favorite exercise at the gym would probably be judging." - Anonymous

"I'm afraid the handle on your recliner chair does not count as an exercise machine" - Doctor (to patient)

"I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass." - David Lee Roth

"Are you fat and ugly? Join our gym and just be ugly!" - Immortal Souls

"Every time I hear the dirty word 'Exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate!" - Unknown

"I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises." - Neil Armstrong

"I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh... try to figure out what my phone number spells in words." - Ellen DeGeneres

"I can't die, it would ruin my image." - Jack LaLanne

"My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit." - Phyllis Diller

"When you're old you feast on your memories, and if you spend too much time on exercise, you may get old and not have many." - Garrison Keillor

"A reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class somewhere pulls a hamstring." - Allan Roth

"I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing" - Unknown

"I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me." - Fred Allen

"I consider my refusal to go to the gym today as resistance training." - Author Unknown

"I'm 99% sure no one would run marathons if they weren't allowed to talk about running marathons." - Mike Vanatta

"Doctor to patient: What fits your busy schedule better, exercising one hour a day or being dead 24 hours a day?" - Randy Glasbergen

"I don't jog. If I die I want to be sick." - Abe Lemons

"If only opening a Vitamin Water could be classified as working out." - Jim Gaffigan

"If these bicep peaks were any bigger I'd have snow on them." - Anonymous

"If these bicep peaks were any bigger I'd have snow on them." - Anonymous

"I spend my time at the gym doing diddly squats" - Unknown

"I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor." - Joan Rivers

"When people ask me if I exercise I tell them I do crunches every day - especially Captain Crunch and Nestle Crunch" - Unknown

"I exercised once, but found I was allergic to it. My skin flushed and my heart raced. I got sweaty and short of breath. Very dangerous." - Anonymous

"You ever look for the remote control, but you can't find it, so you just decide, 'Ah, guess I'm not watching TV. I'm not gonna take two steps and turn it on myself. I'll go to the gym if I'm going to work out.'" - Jim Gaffigan

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